Today in 3 Panels, by Dean Mang-Wooley

Panel 1: Close up image of Dean's left hand. Lightning is striking the area in between Dean's thumb and forefinger, symbolizing pain. Panel 2: Dean is looking at their hand. Dean says to themself: "My thumb-pit is burning." Panel 3: Dean hods their left hand with their right, looking worried. Dean thinks: "spontaneous combustion."

Chili peppers

Aug 28, 2008

Dean and their mom are making grilled sandwiches in the kitchen. Dean picks up a container of mayonnaise and says: "What's the date on this?" Dean's mom looks at the container and says: "2008...", then she gets a concerned look on her face and continues: "April...10th."

Mayonnaise

Sep 15, 2008

Dean's mom is serving the family a casserole. She says to Dean's dad: "Be careful of the casserole...It's got a lot of--" Dean's dad interrupts and says: "Nails?"

Interruption

Sep 6, 2008

Panel 1 image: a car parked outside of ACAD. Panel 1 text: My little brother picked me up from school today. Panel 2 image: Dean loads their school supplies into the back seat of the car. Panel 2 text: Which is about as embarrassing as it sounds. Panel 3 image: Dean sits in the passenger seat of the car, looking out the window. Their brother Jordan is in the driver's seat. Panel 3 text: I NEED to get my friggin' license!

License shame

Oct 1, 2008

Jordan and Hannah are sitting together in their liing room. Hannah says to Jordan: "If you're bored, you should do something. We could dress up in silly costumes and clean our rooms!! We could pretend to be superheroes!"

Superheroes

Aug 26, 2008

Dean is sitting across from their friend David in a restaurant, holding their wallet in one hand. Their wallet is bulging with receipts. David says: I love your fat wallet. Dean says: I can't make it any thinner. David says: Those are load-bearing receipts.

Fat wallet

Jun 1, 2018

Panel one: Dean pours a jug of milk down the sink and says: "Ugh. This old milk is horrible." Panel two: Later, Dean takes a sip of new milk that they just bought. Panel three: Dean grimaces and sticks out their tongue, saying: "BLECH! This new milk is even WORSE!"

From bad to worse

Aug 17, 2008

Dean is taking care of two dogs. Dean and their brother Jordan are standing near the living room. Jordan is pointing at something. Jordan says to Dean: "Maybe we should'e let them out more than once?" There is a close up image revealing three pieces of dog poop on the living room carpet. Dean looks horrified.

Adventures in dogsitting, part II

Aug 11, 2008

Panel 1: Dean walks down the alley near their house and looks at the graffiti on their neighbours' garages. They think: So many vandalized garages. Panel 2: Dean puts a piece of paper in a neighbour's mailbox. They think: "I'll offer to paint over it and give them my information! Panel 3: Dean is at home, looking at the phone with a very worried expression, thinking: crap crap crap crap...

Vandalism

Oct 6, 2008

Dean is watching the news with their family. Panel 1: the newscaster on TV says: "Large Hadron Collider..." Panel 2: The TV shows a simulation of what would happen if a black hole opened up on Earth. The Earth's crust is crumbling and the core is exposed. Panel 3: Close up of Dean's face. They are sweating with fear.

Doom

Sep 10, 2008

Dean and their dad are at Value Village, looking at a trophy with a country's flag printed on it. Dean asks their dad: "What country's flag is that?" Their dad replies: "Taiwan." Dean asks: "How do you KNOW this stuff?" Dean's dad shrugs and says: "I don't know!"

Value Village

Sep 13, 2008

Panel 1 text: A note about Stampede season. Panel 2 image: 3 police officers standing together. Panel 2 text: Cops: scary. Panel 3 image: the same 3 police officers standing together, wearing cowboy hats. Panel 3 text: Cops in cowboy hats: exponentially scarier.

Stampede season

Jul 16, 2018