Today in 3 Panels, by Dean Mang-Wooley

Dean is using a tablet in a classroom at school. There is a loud, repetitive "pow" sound coming from the adjacent room. Dean thinks: That hammering is driving me NUTS! Dean walks to the adjacent room, thinking: What are they doing? When they get to the room, they see the source of the noise: a video projection of balloons popping, with popped balloons scattered on the floor in front of it. Dean thinks: Oh.

Wall of noise

Sep 30, 2008

Dean is at the cashier's desk at an art supply store. Image text reads: "At the art supply store, I suddenly began to pass out. As the room shifted around me, I sank to the floor in a cold sweat. The clerk was good about it." The clerk says to Dean: "Are you hiding?"

Fainting in the aisles

Aug 6, 2008

Dean and Jordan are talking to each other in their living room. Dean says: "They should make a movie with Michael Caine and Maggie Smith as a brother-sister crime-fighting duo!" Jordan adds: "Disguised as butlers!"

Pitching a script

Aug 30, 2008

Panel 1: Dean is turning compost with a pitchfork at night, looking sad. Panel 2: Dean leans on the pitchfork and starts crying, saying: "huh..huh...oh god..." Panel 3: close up of an unopened bottle of celexa, an antidepressant, with cobwebs all over it.

Adventures in pharmaceuticals II

Sep 11, 2008

Dean is taking care of someone's dog. The dog breathes in Dean's face, making the sound effect: "PUGH!" Dean leans away, looking disgusted. Dean says to the dog: "somebody's breath smells like FECES! Is it YOURS?"

Adventures in dogsitting, part I

Aug 10, 2008

Dean, Hannah, and their friends Alison, Joelle, and Kesinee are having dinner together in a pub. Kesinee points to her food with a fork and says: "This stuff that looks like throw up? It's mustard." Joelle clarifies: "It's grey mustard." Kesinee says: "I love grey food!"

Grey mustard

Aug 27, 2008

Dean is taking care of two dogs. Dean and their brother Jordan are standing near the living room. Jordan is pointing at something. Jordan says to Dean: "Maybe we should'e let them out more than once?" There is a close up image revealing three pieces of dog poop on the living room carpet. Dean looks horrified.

Adventures in dogsitting, part II

Aug 11, 2008

Dean sees a newspaper on a table. Dean says: "Hmm?" The newspaper headline reads: "Angry kids may suffer defiance disorder." Dean gets angry and slams their fist down on the table, saying: "Oh, what the HELL?"

Defiance

Aug 5, 2008

Panel one: a title card reads: "one more strip featuring the dags [dogs]." Panel two: a female dog attempting to mount a male dog. Panel three: a title card reads: "the end."

Adventures in dogsitting, part III

Aug 18, 2008

Dean is on a city bus, reading a book. Text reads: As I was reading 'Heart of Darkness' on the bus, I started listening to two women talk about the life they left behind in Botswana. Everything I do is trivial.

Microcosm

Sep 23, 2008

Dean is sitting in a restaurant with their friends Sam and Lailah. Sam says: "I'm advising everyone I know to get a tattoo. The pain builds and builds, and then it just drops off and everything feels beautiful." Lailah says to Sam: "You'd make a terrible torture victim."

Tattoos

Sep 1, 2008

Dean is looking for their cellphone charger. Panel 1: Dean is opening a drawer in the kitchen and shouting over their shoulder. They say: "I can't find my..." Panel 2: Dean has a look of annoyed concentration on their face. They are miming the action of plugging a charger into a cellphone. They say: "Phone...plug...in..." Panel 3: an image of a bottle of ritalin with cobwebs all over it, signifying the fact that Dean has not taken ritalin in some time.

Adventures in pharmaceuticals I

Sep 7, 2008