Today in 3 Panels, by Dean Mang-Wooley

Dean and their mom are making grilled sandwiches in the kitchen. Dean picks up a container of mayonnaise and says: "What's the date on this?" Dean's mom looks at the container and says: "2008...", then she gets a concerned look on her face and continues: "April...10th."

Mayonnaise

Sep 15, 2008

Dean and Jordan are talking to each other in their living room. Dean says: "They should make a movie with Michael Caine and Maggie Smith as a brother-sister crime-fighting duo!" Jordan adds: "Disguised as butlers!"

Pitching a script

Aug 30, 2008

Panel one: Dean pours a jug of milk down the sink and says: "Ugh. This old milk is horrible." Panel two: Later, Dean takes a sip of new milk that they just bought. Panel three: Dean grimaces and sticks out their tongue, saying: "BLECH! This new milk is even WORSE!"

From bad to worse

Aug 17, 2008

Dean and their twin, Hannah, are walking outside together. They see a lot of bottle caps on the path in front of them. Dean says: "Look at all those bottle caps." Hannah says: "Maybe someone was going to bury them for posterity." Dean says: "Burying bottle caps is a wise economic decision."

Bottlecaps

Aug 25, 2008

Dean and their dad are talking to each other. Dean's dad says: "There's a...um..." Dean says: "There's a what?" Dean's dad replies: "Hm? Oh, I was just talking to myself in nonsense language."

Nonsense

Aug 20, 2008

Dean is house sitting for their mom's coworker. They are in a storage room, looking at a photo album. Image text reads: "After a few minutes of snooping, I finally found what I was looking for...photos of my mom's workmate as a kid." There is a close up image of one of the photos, showing a child with the year 1953 printed above his head.

Invasion of privacy

Aug 9, 2008

Dean's family is eating dinner together. Dean's dad says: "Dad had a stroke..." Having not heard him, Dean's mom says to Jordan: "Could I have some of your gravy, Jord?" Dean's dad looks down at the table and says: "Never mind."

Stroke

Sep 12, 2008

Dean is in their back yard, using a hose to spray water onto a pile of dirt. Dean thinks: "My only goal right now is to turn this pile of dirt into a pile of mud." There is a close up image of the water hitting the pile of dirt, followed by a close up image of Dean's head. Dean's eyes are closed, and their mind is empty.

Pre-housesitting meditation

Aug 7, 2008

Dean is talking to a customer outside of the cafe that Dean works at. The customer says to Dean: "You have very prominent eye-teeth." Dean replies: "Yeah, they've been that way for a while." The customer then asks: "Can you see your own reflection?"

Prominent eye-teeth

Jul 8, 2016

Dean is in class. One of their classmates says: "saying that our notion of beauty is a 'white' notion of beauty...that's like...comparing a garden with a dump." Dean angrily whips their head around to face their classmate and thinks: "What the FUCK?"

Classroom racism

Sep 19, 2008

Dean is sitting across from their friend David in a restaurant, holding their wallet in one hand. Their wallet is bulging with receipts. David says: I love your fat wallet. Dean says: I can't make it any thinner. David says: Those are load-bearing receipts.

Fat wallet

Jun 1, 2018

Dean is taking care of two dogs. Dean and their brother Jordan are standing near the living room. Jordan is pointing at something. Jordan says to Dean: "Maybe we should'e let them out more than once?" There is a close up image revealing three pieces of dog poop on the living room carpet. Dean looks horrified.

Adventures in dogsitting, part II

Aug 11, 2008