Today in 3 Panels, by Dean Mang-Wooley

Dean is in their back yard, using a hose to spray water onto a pile of dirt. Dean thinks: "My only goal right now is to turn this pile of dirt into a pile of mud." There is a close up image of the water hitting the pile of dirt, followed by a close up image of Dean's head. Dean's eyes are closed, and their mind is empty.

Pre-housesitting meditation

Aug 7, 2008

Dean, Hannah, and their friends Alison, Joelle, and Kesinee are having dinner together in a pub. Kesinee points to her food with a fork and says: "This stuff that looks like throw up? It's mustard." Joelle clarifies: "It's grey mustard." Kesinee says: "I love grey food!"

Grey mustard

Aug 27, 2008

Dean, aka Rita, is sitting in front of a campfire with their uncle. Their uncle tells them: "you're so skilled. I really...respect you." Dean rests their chin on their hand and thinks to themself: "wow."

The uncle who never talks to me

Aug 2, 2008

Dean is at the cashier's desk at an art supply store. Image text reads: "At the art supply store, I suddenly began to pass out. As the room shifted around me, I sank to the floor in a cold sweat. The clerk was good about it." The clerk says to Dean: "Are you hiding?"

Fainting in the aisles

Aug 6, 2008

Dean's friend Alison is at a clothing store. She looks into a box of hats and sees a baseball cap with a large garish cross printed on it. She buys the hat at puts it on. She grins and gives a thumbs up.

Fate

Aug 14, 2008

Panel 1 image: a life-drawing model undoes their robe. Panel 1 text: There's a brief moment of tension right before a model takes their clothes off. Panel 2 image: the model sits naked on a fabric-covered block, holding a walking stick. Panel 2 text: But once they're naked, it's fine. Panel 3 image: the model stands facing a student. The two are talking to each other. Panel 3 text: Still, it's bizarre to see the other students talking to them.

Life drawing

Sep 24, 2008

Dean is watching the news with their family. Panel 1: the newscaster on TV says: "Large Hadron Collider..." Panel 2: The TV shows a simulation of what would happen if a black hole opened up on Earth. The Earth's crust is crumbling and the core is exposed. Panel 3: Close up of Dean's face. They are sweating with fear.

Doom

Sep 10, 2008

Dean is sitting across from their friend David in a restaurant, holding their wallet in one hand. Their wallet is bulging with receipts. David says: I love your fat wallet. Dean says: I can't make it any thinner. David says: Those are load-bearing receipts.

Fat wallet

Jun 1, 2018

Dean and their twin, Hannah, are walking outside together. They see a lot of bottle caps on the path in front of them. Dean says: "Look at all those bottle caps." Hannah says: "Maybe someone was going to bury them for posterity." Dean says: "Burying bottle caps is a wise economic decision."

Bottlecaps

Aug 25, 2008

Dean is taking care of someone's dog. The dog breathes in Dean's face, making the sound effect: "PUGH!" Dean leans away, looking disgusted. Dean says to the dog: "somebody's breath smells like FECES! Is it YOURS?"

Adventures in dogsitting, part I

Aug 10, 2008

Panel one: a title card reads: "one more strip featuring the dags [dogs]." Panel two: a female dog attempting to mount a male dog. Panel three: a title card reads: "the end."

Adventures in dogsitting, part III

Aug 18, 2008

Dean and their friend Joelle are drinking milkshakes together. Dean starts coughing. Joelle puts her hand on Dean's shoulder and asks: "You ok?" Dean stops coughing and says: "Yeah, I just cough when I drink cold things and hiccup when I drink hot things. Joelle puts her head on Dean's shoulder and says: "I like that you're such a sensitive person and you have such a sensitive system."

Sensitive system

Jul 25, 2016